Politics Of Polarity

We create the narratives that we need in order to feel sexually expressed. We unconsciously seek meaning in our interactions that turn physical pleasure into existential self-validation. These narratives can take many forms. Maybe someone is in charge so that we can let go. Maybe someone follows so that we can feel like leaders. Someone refuses; we test. Someone caves; we feel powerful. In these arrangements, we more often than not merely stumble upon our core themes--the scenarios that turn us on acutely. What if we play with these dynamics on purpose to change things up and get out of our routines? It is essential for us to explore our own narratives in order to evolve as sexual creatures, to better understand our own boundaries and those of others. If you are not already asking about your sex partners’ boundaries, this is a great place to start a conversation. Consent can be explicit or implied but always necessary.