SeanCody: Archie’s Quarantine Routine: Dildo + Jerkoff

I didn’t know Archie could be that quiet for that long. I bet someone else was there while he filmed this. My baby’s got a secret. https://media0.giphy.com/media/3tK7KlEXqgO5Ea1jM9/giphy.gif

There’s an underrated Madonna album? lol

Which one is your favorite? I go with Ray of Light not because it’s the best album but because I was having the time of my life when it was out. The Calderone remixes bring those memories all back.

https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/51195fbaa22eb5f49666df9c06bf318cfe72fab9e001e3f3719e1f8b4ebaa8d5.gif

I remember being at Roxy NYC in 98 or 99 and hearing Peter Rauhofer (I think it was his first time spinning there) drop this remix. He was such an important part of my life on the dance floor, and it pains me that he died so young.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tCh2n2Ada2I

P.S. I listened to a fun podcast where two friends listed their favorite Madonna tracks. The rule was one song per album with two wildcards, and they went back and forth but one guy went in chronological order and the other I think went in order of perceived importance. It was really interesting and fun except when you listen to two gay men talking about Madonna and you aren’t on their level of devotion, it can go off the rails after a while.

Still, my fave album is hands down Erotica. It was fundamental in my early teens when I was exploring and coming to terms with my sexuality.

Whore. J/K. I think Erotica gets overlooked because a lot of people misremember it as a straight up sex album. Probably because of everything that she was doing at the time. I’m sure a lot of casuals totally forget Deeper and Deeper and Rain are on that album, but will swear Justify My Love was. Between that song, the book, and the Erotica single, then Body of Evidence coming out, that all overshadowed some of the other songs. Then you have to throw in A League of Their Own being in between all of that and people really got confused as to where she was going. But it’s definitely an influential album, and many artists like Christina, Janet, Britney, Beyoncé and so many others have had their own Erotica Album moment. And of course, Mistress Dita eventually evolved into Madame X.

Bedtime Stories gets overlooked for much of the same reasons. But she put out iconic songs and vids with that album. Secret is and will always be amazing. Take a Bow is melodic perfection (Babyface did his thing with that). What’s really interesting about the album is how Black it is (and I’m not talking about those Human Nature cornrows). A lot of songs on that album featured samples from Black artists. Everyone from Aaliyah to the Gap Band and Herbie Hancock. Had she not worked with producers like Face and Dallas Austin, songs like Take a Bow and Secret would’ve never existed. That’s hard to imagine.

It’s like porn. When you’re in it you don’t realize how good you had it. Then a few years pass, a lot of trash shows up, and you understand what you had in front of you.

I think that’s why I like Hard Candy so much, because the R&B and Hip Hop influences were so overt. Plus the beats. Madonna was always about club and dance music, so it’s like when she got a taste for EDM she wouldn’t let go. Pretty much every album after that had at least a taste of electronic music (which you wouldn’t think would’ve worked with an album like American Life, but it did).

I don’t know how those two got together. Maybe Big Daddy Kane put in a good word. Supposedly they broke up because Pac was afraid of the optics hurting his career. He was probably right about that.

Speaking of rappers and Madonna, she and Jay-Z were supposed to work together on The Black Album, since Jay used a Justify My Love sample. I forget why they didn’t end up having a collab, but Jay still used the sample. That would’ve been a fun duo.

I realized I really appreciated her voice on that album, particularly on songs like Nothing Fails and Intervention. Love Profusion obviously. I agree Hard Candy is when she tried to be “Cool Mom.” I still remember when they played multiple songs from that album on an episode of Ugly Betty. I think it was the episode with Lohan. Madge was really trying to say “Hey, I’m still here!” But it didn’t feel as cringe as the MDNA features with Nicki and M.I.A. Those were sooo forced. Confessions still slays. Track to track.

BDK is still fine! If you look at some of his recent pictures he looks like he could be Idris Elba’s older brother. Madonna really doesn’t have a type. Vanilla Ice, Kane, Pac, Rodman, Carlos, Guy. She was all over the place.